


The Darkest Parts of You

by HiddlestonerArmy83



Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston- Fandom
Genre: Actor Tom Hiddleston, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, BDSM, Dirty Talk, Dirty Thoughts, Dom Tom Hiddleston, Dom/sub, Drama & Romance, Dysfunctional Relationships, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Falling In Love, Feels, Gratuitous Smut, Light BDSM, Love, Making Love, Masturbation, Mild Kink, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Romance, Rough Sex, S&M, Sexual Fantasy, Shameless Smut, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-13
Updated: 2014-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-25 05:50:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2610761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddlestonerArmy83/pseuds/HiddlestonerArmy83
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When American makeup artist Sera Collins is offered a job on a high production TV Mini-Series in England, she jumps at the chance to take it after years of struggling in a field that financially she was almost forced to quit.  Shortly after accepting the position, she leaves her hometown of Chicago for the very first time, and jets to London where more than her fair share of work is waiting.  It is on the set of her first "real" gig, that Sera meets the devilishly handsome and incredibly charismatic Tom Hiddleston, who is cast in one of the show's starring roles.  Sera is immediately attracted to the man that she mentally cannot seem for some reason to escape, and it surprises her that he also appears to feel the same way.  Almost over night, Sera is jolted into a world that she doesn't understand and into a relationship that she can't seem to handle.  Love and lust take on very new meanings as the lines between pleasure and pain become much less clearly drawn, and obsession becomes a word all to familiar in her vocabulary.  Will Sera be able to make something real and functional out of her intense feelings for a man that she has known for such a short time, or will he unintentionally destroy her before she gets the chance?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Darkest Parts of You

_**  
**_

           The shadow shrouded room surrounding me was completely empty, and the air that filled my lungs was bitterly cold.  Any evidence that a real human being had in fact actually lived in the small vacant flat that now seemed far too large for me to even attempt to take in had been hauled away nearly three hours before, and the only two things that were left in it, had not spoken one word to one another in nearly as long.  My heart ached painfully inside of my chest as I held back the litany of words that for the past few months I had been dying to say out loud, and my hands shook slightly against the icy cold wall behind me as I quickly realized that my utilities had in fact finally been cut off.  The soft sound of a woman’s delicate breathing suddenly invaded my tortuous private thoughts as I finally lifted my head from the floor in which I had been forcefully staring, and then the vision of the beauty that I was quite certain had been watching me suffer in silence this entire time, once again consumed my very distraught mind.

          “What time does your flight leave?”  Her angelic sounding voice asked as she moved the soft silken sheet of her long dark hair away from her tensely held face, and then appeared to force her emerald colored eyes to hold mine no matter how much it appeared to pain her at the time.  I swallowed thickly as I dropped my gaze back down to the worn wooden floor boards beneath my feet, and then I anxiously began to tap one of my boots against their tattered surface.

          “Midnight.”  I answered from deep within my chest as I heard the beauty just barely fifty feet away from me swallow thickly inside of her throat, and then release a very shaky gentle breath.  _I already missed how her sweet breath felt against my naked skin, and I wasn’t even gone yet._

          “So…six hours?"  My beauty whispered with the slightest hint of desire lacing her seemingly innocent words as I lifted my head once again to take in her small frame leaned back against the wall on the opposite side of me, where she nearly matched my uncomfortable stance exactly.

          “Six hours.”  I repeated slowly as I kept my eyes on the woman that I had both so fiercely loved and also so unintentionally tortured for nearly the past four months as she stared back at me with her beautiful innocent childlike eyes.

          “Can I stay with you until you go?”  She asked timidly as I heard the beginnings of tears hanging on each word that left her full and painfully addictive rose colored lips.  I swallowed thickly as I shrugged my shoulders at the question that I had both prayed and feared that I would hear ever since the evening before had so quickly ended.

          “You know that you can do as you please.”  I said coldly as I hated every single word that I felt that I needed to say, but prayed that my harshness would somehow ease my love’s so evident pain that I loathed myself for creating.

          “Please don’t do this, Tom.  I just want to know if you want me to stay.  I just want to know what you want.”  She begged in almost a whisper as I watched her finally push her long hair completely over one of her slender shoulders, revealing her low cut crimson colored blouse that in turn, also revealed the soft milky colored flesh that my taste buds had now come to memorize.  I swallowed thickly as I immediately dropped my eyes back down to the floor, and then pushed back as hard as I could manage against the need that was forcefully attempting to invade my entire nearly destroyed system.

          “What I want is no longer your concern, Sera.  Darling, we talked about this.”  I said in a low stern and slightly exhausted tone of voice as even I felt ashamed of the words that were once again tumbling off of my lips.  Tears immediately filled Sera’s beautiful green eyes as I finally caught her gaze after lifting mine from the floor yet again, and then I watched in silence as she licked her seemingly dry sumptuous lips slowly, just before she once again finally spoke to me.

          “I don’t care what we talked about.  Please, just tell me what you want from me.  Tell me, or I will stand here all night waiting until you do.”  Sera challenged in a slightly desperate tone as she kept her eyes tightly on mine, and appeared to be attempting to keep her now shallow breathing somewhat under control.  I swallowed thickly as I lifted one of my eyebrows at her slightly defiant statement, and then immediately began to fight against the beast inside of me that I knew very well had always been much stronger than I was.

          “And, if I make you stand here for six hours waiting for my answer?”  I asked in a tone of voice that I had sworn that I would never use with her after the night before just as I felt my hands beginning to tense slightly at my sides.  Sera’s breathing immediately quickened just as my last word finally left my lips, and I could practically feel the warmth beginning to radiate from her body as I knew that I had so quickly and also somewhat unintentionally began to awaken the deepest and also darkest parts of her desire.

          “Then I will wait patiently, just as I always have.”  Sera answered in a tone of voice that awakened parts of _my_ desire that I wished would simply die already just as she lifted one of her hands to the side of her slender neck where she touched her skin gently, and very seductively tempted my weaknesses completely on purpose.  I swallowed thickly once again as I watched her slowly trace her long fingers over the silky soft patch of skin just at the base of her throat where I had so often bit hungrily while we had made love, and then run her tongue lustfully over her full bottom lip.  _Don’t do this, Sera.  Neither one of us can handle this anymore._

          “Last night was the last night.  That was our agreement, and you know that.”  I said as I felt my heart beginning to pound furiously inside of my chest at the memories of the most recent intensely passionate night that we had shared together, and also at the anticipation of just one more that could still be yet to come.

          “Fuck our agreement.”  Sera said boldly as I saw fire beginning to burn deep within her entrancing eyes, and her arms quickly cross over her chest as I could practically feel her anger beginning to build from deep inside of her.  She was obviously attempting to protect herself from the rejection that we both knew that she couldn’t handle from me, and the rejection that previously, I had never been able to actually give to her. 

          “That agreement was made for a reason, Sera.  It was made to protect you.  It was made to make this easier on you.”  I said with unwanted emotion beginning to flood my voice as I leaned back slightly against the cold wall behind me, and then crossed my arms over my chest as well.  Sera narrowed her eyes in my direction as she appeared to slowly scan my tensed form, and then she finally tightened her usually always softened delicate jaw as she practically scowled at me.  The fire within the emerald pools of her soft eyes flamed even wilder than they had before just as my words sharply left my lips.  _And that fire only served to fuel the beast inside of me even more._

          “No, that agreement was made to make this easier on you.  Don’t try to sound valiant, Tom. You are being a coward, and you know it.”  She seethed as a few of her tears finally began to spill down over her perfectly rounded cheeks, and then drop down onto her collarbone that now violently quivered just like the rest of her delicate form.  I felt my insides tense at her insult, but I attempted to remain calm.  _I needed to remain calm, for the both of us._

          “I am not being a coward, Sera.  I am sticking to my word, and my word was that after last night, this was over.”  I reminded harshly as I watched Sera push herself slightly away from the wall behind her, and then take a very small step in my direction.  I could sense the danger beginning to rise in the cool air around me, but I remained exactly where I stood just the same.  _I knew this game, and as much as I hated it, I so desperately still wanted to play it._

          “I could give a shit about your fucking word, Tom.  It has been _over_ more times than I can count in the past four months, and _over_ has never lasted for more than one night.  I have been telling you for over a month that I didn’t think that I could handle this anymore, but when _I_ was doing the talking, my word didn’t mean shit.  Now all of a sudden, you have decided that it is over, and I’m just supposed to shut up and take it.  Why the fuck does only your opinion count in this relationship?  Why don’t I ever get a say?” She questioned loudly through her tears as her words slightly broke at the end of her question, and then she once again took another shaky step in my direction.  I released a deep breath as I kept myself as even as I possibly could, and then I slowly licked my now chilled lips.

          “I was wrong when I held onto you when I knew that I needed to let you go, but I am only human, Sera.  When you wanted to end it, I couldn’t imagine having to see you every day and not be able to touch you as I pleased.  I couldn’t imagine seeing you with someone else, when I knew that you should have been with me. I was being selfish then, but I am trying to do the right thing now.  I am trying to fix all of these fucked up things between us.  I trying to finally set you free.”  I explained with emotion now dripping from my voice as I once again felt shame completely overcome me, and feelings begin to stir inside of me that I definitely did not want to examine.  Sera’s eyes softened as she took another step closer toward me, and then she slowly took in a very deep steadying breath.  _Please Sera, don’t look at me like that._

          “I don’t want to be set free, Tom.  I want to be with you, and you know that.  When I tried to end it, it was just because I was scared, but I’m not scared anymore.  I am so much stronger than I was then, and that is because of you.  I have changed so much in the past four months that I can barely recognize who I was before I met you.  I used to let people walk all over me and make decisions for me that I didn’t agree with, but I don’t do that anymore, and it feels amazing.  I have finally learned to stand up for myself, and I learned that from you.”  She justified as she continued moving closer toward me, now with a conviction in her eyes that considering our messed up circumstances, I knew definitely shouldn’t have been there.  I swallowed thickly as I heard the dysfunction practically dripping from her lips, and secretly I hated myself for being the one that had put it there.

          “Yes, you’ve learned a lot from me, haven’t you?  You’ve learned how to stand up to everyone else around you, _but me_.  You’ve learned to do exactly what you want in the presence of everyone, _but me_.  You’ve learned to be a decently functioning human being with everyone, **_but me_**!”  I yelled as I felt my rage beginning to take over, and my logic quickly beginning to exit my mind.  A look of shame drifted through Sera’s eyes as she took in my insulting words, but then quickly, it too was replaced with the same rage that also now filled me.  _We were so similar in some ways that it was almost unnerving to truly consider._

          “I am standing up for myself right now, Tom!  I am doing what I want to do right now, and I am doing it in the most decent way that I know how!  I am standing here, freezing in your empty apartment where I have been standing waiting for you to speak to me for over two hours, and I am telling you that I want you more than I want fucking air!  I am telling you that I am perfectly capable of making my own choices, and that my choice is you!  You are leaving in less than six hours and no matter what I say, we both know that you are never coming back to me.  Do you really want to spend what little time we have left together fighting about something that we both know is just never going to be fucking settled?  Do you, Tom?  Because that is the last fucking thing that I want to do.”  She screamed as she tightened her small fists at her sides, and then stomped her foot against the floor beneath her feet in a slightly childish fit of rage.  _My blood moved immanently faster through my veins as both my emotions and my desires began to mix together inside of me into a very dangerous brand of cocktail._

“We both know what you want to do, Sera, and it’s not going to happen.”  I said in a low angry voice as Sera continued moving closer toward me, and with every step that she took, she slowly shredded even more of what little was left of my self-control.  _We both knew that this was wrong.  We both knew that this simply could not work._

          “How can you be so cruel to me after everything that has happened between us?”  Sera asked softly as she finally stopped moving just a few feet in front of me, and then slowly swallowed the tears that I could sense that my last statement had made.  My body ached to reach out to her and console her, but my stubborn mind would simply not allow me to move.

          “You have never seemed to mind my cruelty before, Sera.  In fact, you’ve begged for it quite a few times.”  I continued as I prayed that my words would simply drive my love out of my small empty flat, and back to her friend that I knew was somewhere waiting for her so that at least someone could put back the pieces to the mess of Sera that I had so carelessly (and incredibly quickly) so recently made.

          “You have never been cruel with me, Tom, and you know that.  Your affections have just always been shown in a different way.”  Sera justified as she took yet another slow step in my direction.  I swallowed thickly as I once again noticed the intense love for me that I cherished more than life itself burning deep within my love's beautiful eyes that I honestly could not believe was even still there, and then I licked my dry lips just before I finally took my very last cheap emotional shot.   _I truly didn't want to do this.  I truly wasn't this type of man._

          “I think that you are confusing affection with something very different, Sera.”  I said coldly, and as my last words left my mouth, I regretted speaking them immediately.  Tears filled Sera’s eyes as she stared at me in what appeared to be disbelief, and then an expression moved over her face that I had never in the past few months ever before seen.  For the first time since I had met her, Sera looked as if the world around her suddenly had no color, and she looked at me as if I had been the one that had taken it.

          “Fuck you.”  She whispered with heartbreak dripping from her insult and rage slowly slipping from her words as her tears suddenly began to flow more quickly down her perfectly beautiful angelic face.  I swallowed thickly as I pressed my tightened fists back against the wall behind me once again.  _I felt like the most disgusting human being that had ever been alive.  Why was I doing this to her?_

          “I think that you should go, Sera.”  I said as my words finally began to shake just slightly as they left my lips, and then quickly I cleared my aching throat before I completely lost what was left of my once calm composure.  Sera stared back at me still obviously consumed by her anger and grief, but still she remained firmly planted where she stood in front of me.

          “I hate you.”  She said in a soft voice as her tears slipped down her face even faster than they had been before, and her full bottom lip began to quiver just slightly above her small chin.  I released a long deep breath as I knew deep down that Sera’s words were complete and total lies, but I still felt my chest tighten painfully at their stinging impact just the same.

          “You should.”  I said from low within my throat as I felt my shame beginning to overcome me once again, and my fears of actually letting Sera go begin to drift up to my surface.  Sera shook her head as she dropped her eyes down to the worn wooden floor beneath her, and then she bit down roughly on her once perfectly painted bottom lip.

          “No, I shouldn’t.  But hate is what you want from me, isn’t it, Tom?  You want me to hate you so that this somehow feels like a cleaner break.  So that it doesn’t hurt as much as it does right now.”  She said in a low heart broken voice as she continued to stare down at the floor just beneath her slightly scuffed black patent leather heels.  I swallowed as I released an uneasy breath, and then I slowly shook my head.

          “No matter what I want from you or what I do to attempt to somehow soften the blow of me leaving, this is still going to hurt just the same, Sera.  However, I do know that if we go down the road that you are trying to go down right now, it is only going to make this even worse than it already is.”  I admitted as I once again met Sera’s emotionally overtaken eyes, and attempted to reason with the woman inside of her that I knew realized that what she so desperately thought that she wanted, would be a huge mistake if actually achieved.

          “I don’t care if it makes it worse, Tom.  I need you tonight, even if it’s for the last time.”  Sera pleaded as she once again took another step toward me, and then finally settled just a few inches in front of my tensely held face.  I released a breath as I quickly dropped my eyes, and then slowly licked my now frigid feeling lips.  _I wanted her so badly that I ached inside, but I knew that we just couldn’t do this anymore._

          “Last night was the last time, Sera, just like I told you.  Now please, I think that you need to leave.”  I half pleaded as I turned my eyes out to the neighboring window beside me, and forcefully focused my gaze to the building just adjacent to mine.  Sera released another breath as she reached her small hand out toward me, and then gently placed it just at the center of my chest.

          “Look at me, Tom.  Please, just look at me.”  She begged as her fingers carefully bunched around my dress shirt’s top buttons, and then slipped just slightly beneath its incredibly thin fabric.  _Feeling her touch against my skin was enough to push me over the edge, but still, I attempted to hold onto my strength._

          “I’m looking at you, Sera.”  I said flatly as my eyes slowly lifted up to hers, and then once again I became nearly entranced by her emerald colored stare.  Sera sighed as she slid her hand up from my chest to the side of my neck, and then she softly touched the side of my face.  _I was losing my battle at a rapid pace, but I refused to stop fighting._

          “Make love to me.”  She whispered as she traced the outline of my tightened jaw with one of her soft fingertips, and then swallowed thickly inside of her throat.  I ground my teeth together as tightly as I could, and then desperately attempted to push out the desire that her touch so quickly inspired in me. 

          “No.”  I answered defiantly in a voice that I barely recognized as I turned my face forcefully away from Sera’s touch, and even closer toward the window on my opposite side.

          “Why?”  Sera asked in a shaky slightly saddened voice as she stared at me with pain clouding her eyes that truly tore me apart to actually see.  I swallowed as I continued avoiding her eyes.

          “Because I can’t look into your eyes and touch you the way that you want me to, and then leave you right after.  I can do a lot of things, Sera, but that is one thing that I simply cannot do.”  I answered as I attempted to stand my ground and at least attempt to do the right thing for once when it came to what it was that was going on between us, but I feared that I didn’t have much longer that I would actually be able to last in my effort.  Sera swallowed as she slid her hand back down the side of my neck, and then she finally allowed her fingers to slowly drift back down over the tightened expanse of my now nearly heaving chest.

          “Then fuck me.  Touch me how you want to touch me, fuck me until you are satisfied, and then leave me how you want to leave me.  Do whatever you want to me, just don’t leave me like this.”  She pleaded as her voice slightly shook as she spoke to me.  I swallowed as I felt my lust beginning to rise at Sera’s slightly vulgar words, and my shame also return as she practically gave me permission to treat her like a piece of meat.

          “Don’t say things that you don’t mean, or ask for things that you cannot handle, Sera.  Just leave before you make me do something that we are both going to regret.”  I said as I pushed myself back harder against the wall behind me, and slightly further away from Sera’s hypnotic touch.

          “You know that I mean it, and you know that I can handle it.  Now please, fuck me.”  Sera begged with a slight amount of demand beginning to enter her voice, which seemed to in turn push out just a small amount of the lovesick depression that had previously appeared to nearly consume her entire system. 

           Now, I'm not completely certain exactly how long I stood against my cold vacant flat wall desperately attempting to ignore Sera’s touch, but after a few moments of focusing on a smudge of paint just at the corner of what had been my living room window, I finally felt Sera’s fingers beginning to move down the length of my abdomen just before eventually settling above the belt line of my jeans.  Quickly, I felt my nerves begin to twitch beneath my skin as her fingertips slowly began to hungrily caress the tightened muscles just beneath my navel, and then I felt them nearly burst into flames as I watched her lustfully bite down on her bottom lip as she appeared to thoroughly enjoy watching every single desire fueled movement that she made.  I became painfully hard beneath my jeans before Sera's hand had even stopped moving against me, and inside my mind, I had already had her at least ten times. 

          “Don’t tease me, Sera.  You know that I’m not this fucking strong.”  I said in a deep authoritative voice that somehow still seemed slightly tinged with a desperate plea for my beauty to spare me from her incredibly satisfying brand of torture, but as I figured, my plea in no way swayed her.  Instead, Sera licked her lips as she watched me struggle against her, and then she continued to greedily touch me as she pleased.  I assumed that she had to greatly enjoy watching me like this, after all, it wasn’t very often that I was the one who was being forced to so desperately beg.

          “You are the strongest man that I know, Tom.  I just want to feel all of that strength deep inside of me.”  Sera whispered as her voice practically dripped with desire as it flowed seductively from her delicious lips.  My mouth immediately began to water as my body so quickly remembered the feeling of moving inside of Sera during the many nights that we had shared together, and how painfully satisfying the sensation of her innocent seduction always was.

          “We will regret this.”  I warned as I felt Sera’s hand slowly move down over the thick leather texture of my belt, and then hungrily begin to stroke the bulge in my pants just below it, that I ached to set free.  Sera swallowed thickly as her eyes lifted back up to mine, and in that moment, I could practically taste the sweet flavor of her wetness as I watched her quickly shift her legs slightly tighter together in front of me.  _Fuck, I needed her._

          “I will never regret anything when it comes to you, Tom.  Now please, fuck me.”  Sera pleaded desperately as her lips slightly began to shake, and her hand that caressed me started to move over me even more hungrily than it had been before.  I groaned in pleasure from my beauty’s touch as I finally released one of my hands from the wall behind me, and then I slowly moved it to the soft flesh of her arm.  There was a heavy silence between us as Sera's eyes remained obediently locked in on my stare as I slowly moved my fingertips up the length of her slender bicep, and then carefully continued up to the expanse of her delicate neck.  Sera’s breathing quickened immediately as I shifted my hand slowly just behind her head, and then I finally heard the delicious sound of her satisfied moan as I quickly knotted my fingers deep into the soft locks of her dark hair.

          “Get on your knees.”  I ordered as I tightened my grip just behind Sera’s head, and then pulled her slightly closer toward my now desire consumed form.  Sera swallowed thickly as color immediately filled her soft cheeks at my command, and then slowly I watched as she lowered herself obediently down onto her knees.  My erection grew even more painful inside of my jeans as I first saw Sera's emerald eyes staring longingly up into mine, and my heart pounded even more furiously inside of my chest as she then slowly once again licked her alluring full rose colored lips.

          “Tell me what you want me to do to you.”  Sera said softly as she remained perfectly still knelt down before me, and kept her gaze tightly locked in on mine.  I swallowed thickly as I caressed the back of her scalp gently, and then I pulled her head back slightly, just to see the hungry lust filled look in her beautiful green eyes.

          “I want you to take off my belt, and then set it down on your left hand side.”  I ordered in a low tone as I felt my pulse beginning to jump slightly inside of my veins, and my heart thunder just beneath the bone covered walls of my chest.  Sera nodded as she lifted her hands gently up to my calves, and then she slowly began to slide her fingers up the length of my long legs, caressing me as she moved.  Sera kept her eyes tightly on mine as she slipped her fingers just under the thick leather binding of my belt, and then carefully, she undid it from the buckle that I had originally made in it.  I swallowed thickly as I watched her slowly lean forward with her eyes still remaining tightly on mine, and then I felt my heart quickly slam against my chest as I watched her lips seductively kiss the leather that she held in her delicate hand.  I wanted to fuck her until she couldn’t stand right that very moment, but being the glutton for punishment that I was, I instead remained perfectly still.

          “And, now?”  Sera asked just as soon as she had slid my belt out from the loops of my jeans, and then carefully set the thick leather exactly where I had first asked her to.  I swallowed as I nodded slowly, and then I once again tightened my grip in her hair.

          “Unbutton my jeans, and then pull them down over my hips.  Then I want you to put your hands down on the tops of your thighs, and leave them there until my next instruction.”  I explained carefully just as I had so many times before.  Sera nodded as she lifted her hands once again just as I had asked her to, and then carefully undid the button of my jeans.

          There was a long silence between us as I watched Sera slowly pull my jeans down over my hips, and then carefully release her hands down to her thighs exactly as I had commanded of her after she had done as she had been told.  When she had finished, she stared up at me with the same intensity of hunger that I felt burning so deeply inside of me, and then she dug her nails deeply into the soft flesh of her legs beneath her as she anxiously awaited my next decree.  Sera’s breathing was heavy and labored as I caught her more than once move her gaze down to the expanse of my boxers where my dick so roughly pressed, and her lips shook slightly as I could tell that she so desperately craved what she knew would happen next.  I licked my lips slowly before I once again spoke to her, and as I did, I once again tightened my grip on her soft hair that lay tangled in my now slightly shaking right hand.

          “Release your hands from your thighs, and take down my boxers.  Then when you are finished, put your hands back exactly where they were.”  I ordered in an even, but incredibly low tone of voice as I carefully watched the woman knelt down in front of me.  Sera released a breath that carried just the slightest hint of a moan as she nodded carefully in understanding, and then slowly once again did exactly as she was told.  I stared down at her as she hungrily stared at the part of me that we both knew some nights was the only thing that could satisfy her as I watched her eventually return her hands to her thighs, and then slowly she once again lifted her eyes.

          “And, now?”  Sera asked once again, but this time her voice broke slightly as she spoke to me.  I swallowed thickly inside of my suddenly dry feeling throat as I nodded down toward her, and then carefully chose my next words.

          “Open your mouth.”  I said as I heard my voice break slightly as well, and then I felt my hand tighten painfully around the knot that I had formed in my beauty’s hair without my conscious knowledge of it.  Sera released a breath as she finally parted her full rose colored lips, and then she seductively opened her beautiful mouth wide before me just as I had instructed.  I felt my hands begin to shake harder as my dick throbbed with a need that only Sera had ever created, and then I felt all of my muscles tense with anticipation as I attempted to once again find the words to speak.

          “Take me in slowly or we stop.  Do you understand?”  I asked sternly as I stared down at the woman beneath me that had been known to get slightly carried away when it came to pleasuring me, and who in most circumstances, I had never actually been able to (or truly wanted to) stop.  Sera nodded carefully.

          “Yes, Tom.  I understand.”  She answered obediently and then returned her mouth to the beautiful open position that I had earlier instructed of her.  I nodded as I kept my eyes intently on her, and then I slowly guided her head with my hand that held her hair closer toward me, and then nearly collapsed when I eventually filled her mouth completely.

          “Fuck, me.”  I groaned as I felt the wetness of Sera’s tongue glide deliciously across the underside of my dick the second that I entered her mouth, and then slowly begin to stoke me just as her incredibly skilled hands often had.  Sera moaned as I watched her slowly close her eyes in pure satisfaction, and then she roughly pressed down on her hands that she still held in place on her mouthwatering thighs.

          “Mmm….”  Sera moaned as she allowed me to move her head as I so desired, but then in turn, she suddenly began sucking just slightly harder against me without my much needed permission.  I knew that I needed to stop her in order to keep my incredibly coveted control firmly in its place, but that was a very difficult request to make when her lips felt as good as they did against the hardness of my dick. 

          “Sera…”  I moaned as I pulled her head against me slightly faster, and then nearly bit through the flesh of my tongue, when I finally felt the head of my dick hit the back of her narrow throat.  The sensation of her mouth and throat tightening around me was indescribable, and the feeling of her thick sweet saliva that immediately covered my dick, well it was sensational.

          “Mmm…”  Sera moaned again as she added a small amount of pressure to the movements of her tongue, and then began moving along slightly with the motions of my hand.  Once again I knew that I should have stopped her, but no matter how dominant I might have been, I was also still simply just a man.

          “Slow down, darling.  Remember to mind your manners.”  I ordered, now slightly breathless as I began to push my hips slightly forward against Sera’s gorgeous spit covered lips, and further away from the cold wall behind me.  Sera groaned as she took me nearly as deep as she could once again, and then I watched as she quickly pulled her knees even closer together in front of her.

          “Does it make you wet to taste me like this?”  I asked as I moved my hips against her once again, and then reveled in the quiet choking noise that her throat so beautifully made in reaction to me.  Sera released a muffled moan as she quickly righted her breathing, and then she unexpectedly pushed her head very disobediently forward toward me without my approval.

          “Mmm-hmm.”  She answered as she once again opened her eyes, and then lifted them up to mine as I rhythmically began filling her sensuous hot wet mouth, not even knowing myself what it was that I was thinking.  I released a breath that helped mask a moan as desire practically shot into me from the centers of Sera’s eyes as she lustfully stared up at me, and in turn, immediately caused pre-cum to slightly drip from the head of my now throbbing dick.  Sera moaned once again as I felt her tongue quickly slide over my now slick tip, and then quickly, she swept away the fluid that she seemed to so thoroughly love to taste. 

          “Jesus Christ, you are a very bad girl.”  I groaned as I felt Sera begin to suck against me even harder, and then she pressed her head forward even more roughly toward my hips than she had before.  I groaned once again as I pulled against her hair in an attempt to at least somehow slow her movements, but this time, Sera did not even pretend to listen.

          “Slow down.”  I ordered breathlessly as I felt the muscles of my stomach beginning to contract tightly beneath my skin and my dick begin to twitch from my beauty’s delicious movements, but Sera continued to ignore my words.  Instead of listening to me, she very disobediently pulled against my hand that tightly held her, and then began taking me as deep as she could as quickly as she could do it.  She moaned as she moved passionately against me, wetting my flesh with her succulent spit and sucking every drop of desire off of my dick, and for some strange reason, I helplessly allowed her.  I stood unusually silent above her, staring down at her beautiful face as she pleasured me to nearly the point of exhaustion, and I committed every moment that she gave me to my memory, no matter how much it hurt me to do it.  I moaned and cursed as I slid over and over into the wetness of Sera’s mouth, and finally I found myself curved over her slightly, just barely catching myself before I completely lost control.  It was in that very moment that I found a few small shreds of what was left of my self-control, and in that very moment, that I pulled myself back from the edge where Sera had led me without my consent or honestly even my knowledge at all. 

          “Enough, Sera!”  I yelled as I roughly pulled my love's head back away from my body, and then watched as my now painfully hard dick popped forcefully out of her beautiful hot wet mouth.  Sera’s breaths immediately began to escape her lips in rapid pants as I watched a thin line of spit slowly begin to trickle down the length of her petite chin just after I withdrew from her, and then color quickly return to her cheeks as she then lifted her completely innocent appearing eyes back up toward mine.  I ground my teeth together as tightly as I could as all of the delicious things that I was about to do to Sera flashed vividly before my eyes, and then the sound of her satisfied screams also began to prematurely echo inside the confines of my now completely desire consumed mind. _  
_

“Stand up.”  I ordered angrily as I pulled harshly on my hand that was still tangled tightly in the soft locks of Sera’s hair, and in turn, I gained a delicious moan from her still deliciously dampened full lips.  Sera obeyed me immediately as she nodded slightly nervously up toward me before she quickly began to move, and then she shakily found her way back to her feet just before I pushed her roughly to my left hand side.  I spun on my heels until I was finally facing her, and then completely without thinking, I once again began to speak.

          “Face against the wall.”  I ordered as I pushed Sera forward, and then immediately moved my overheated body quickly behind hers.  Sera’s breathing was erratic as I shouted commands sharply at her, but as always, she did exactly as she was told.

          “I’m sorry.”  She panted as the side of her soft cheek quickly found the coolness of the wall that my back had been pressed against only a moment before, and then her knees roughly slammed against the same surface, causing a few specks of dust to fall down toward the floor.

          “No, you’re not.  You enjoyed every second of it, didn’t you, darling?  You loved how you were so completely in control of me.  You reveled in how you so seductively defied me." I corrected as I finally released my grip on Sera’s long dark hair, and then immediately slid both of my hands down the back of her now slightly shaking beautifully curvaceous body.

          “I did, but I’m sorry.  I never mean to disobey you.”  She answered in a high pitched voice that I knew very well, just as I finally reached the top of her dark midnight black colored skirt.  There was a silence as I hastily hooked my fingers into the sides of the tight knit material that gathered around Sera's waist, and then the sound of ripping fabric immediately filled the room around us.

          “Yes, but you love it when I punish you.  And don't you worry love, I am _really_ going to punish you.”  I practically groaned as I yanked the tattered material of what was left of Sera’s skirt down over the drastic curve of her hips, and then finally allowed it to fall slack down onto the floor beneath us.  Sera licked her lips as I watched her slowly close her beautiful green eyes.

          “Please, do it.  I want it. I need it.”  She admitted heatedly as she pressed her hips roughly back against mine, and then rubbed herself desperately against my now painfully aching groin.  I stepped back slightly breaking the contact between us as I pushed my hands back up over the expanse of Sera's narrow shoulders, and then hastily, I ripped through the thin silk material of her crimson colored shirt just as I had with her skirt.

          “Tom.”  Sera gasped quietly as I pulled the material quickly from her still shaking body, and then I hooked my fingers into the back of her lacy black bra that was one of the only pieces to her original outfit that she actually had left.

          “Save your breath, darling.  Here soon, you are desperately going to need it.”  I warned as I finally felt her bra give way flimsily beneath my fingertips, and then eventually fall forward over her shoulders in an almost graceful sort of fashion.  Sera shrugged off yet another piece of her destroyed clothing, and then suddenly she stood shivering before me, only wearing her black lace panties and the patent leather heels that still covered her small feet.

          “You are the most disobedient woman that I have ever met, Sera.  Why is it that you cannot simply listen to me when I say something to you?  Why is it that you cannot just do as I say?”  I asked as I slipped my cool fingers into the sides of Sera’s delicate panties, and then ripped them roughly off of her now beautifully naked trembling feminine form.  Sera shivered slightly as the cool air around us immediately attacked her bare skin, and then she licked her lips slowly before she finally decided to actually answer me once again.

          “I want you so much that it consumes me when I am with you, Tom.  Just being around you makes me feel like I have absolutely no self-control.  All I can think about it touching you, and all I can focus on is pleasing you.”  She admitted as her legs began to shake violently beneath her just as my hands began to gently caress of the backs of her smooth porcelain colored thighs.   _Her skin felt like velvet beneath my touch._

          “Control is very important, my darling.  Do you enjoy when _I_ am in control of _you_?”  I asked as I slid my hands slowly up over the swell of Sera’s perfectly rounded ass, and then I grasped her succulent flesh hungrily in my large hands.  Sera moaned as she pressed her body heatedly back against mine, and then she cried out loudly into the cool evening air that surrounded us.

          “God, yes.”  She groaned just as I slid one of my hands slowly between the soft creamy flesh of her inner thighs, and then drug one of my fingers carefully across the delicious length of her already incredibly swollen clit.  _She was so wet that she practically dripped against me._

“Mmm….yes you do, don’t you?  Now, be a good girl and spread your legs.”  I ordered as I slowly began to rub the slightly roughened pad of one of my long index fingers over the small bundle of nerves just at the top of Sera’s soaking wet core, and then I flicked my middle finger slightly roughly against her deliciously dripping wet clit.  Sera groaned in pleasure at my teasing action as I felt her immediately become more aroused beneath my fingertips, but no matter how intensely I tortured her, she still managed to do exactly as she was told.

          “Please, Tom.”  She whispered as she slowly once again opened her beautiful eyes, and then hesitantly turned her gaze to intensely meet mine.  I swallowed thickly as I kept my eyes tightly locked in on Sera's, and then incredibly slowly, I dropped down to my knees on the floor just behind her.  Sera stared down at me breathlessly as her lips slightly parted as I bent one of her legs slightly away from her soft body, and then I listened to her groan quietly as I carefully pushed it up the wall just in front of where she now stood.

          “Mmm, how I love to hear you beg, darling.”  I whispered, and then just after the words had finally left my mouth, I carefully dropped my head down and hungrily savored the delicious flavor of Sera's completely addictive dripping wet core.  _She was the most delicious brand of torture that I had ever in my life so thoroughly tasted._

          “Fuck, Tom.”  Sera moaned as I dug my fingers roughly into the backs of her soft thighs, and then sucked hungrily at her core as if I needed her delicious flesh in order to survive.

          “Mmm…”  I groaned as I drug my tongue painfully slowly over the slick length of Sera's mouth-watering opening, and then immediately after, I pushed it as deep inside of her as her body would allow me to go.

          “Tom, Jesus Christ.  Please…fuck…don’t stop.”  Sera begged with broken words as she ground her body back against me forcefully, and then yelped as I quickly lifted one of my hands, and quickly brought it down hard against the ample flesh of her ass.  _She became painfully wet almost immediately after my hand struck her.  It was astounding what a well-placed tongue, and a little force could truly do to a woman._

          For the next few moments, I tortured Sera with my tongue for as long as either one of us could stand it before our bodies simply begged us for something more.  I tasted every inch of the most delicate part of her until her legs began to give way just above my head, and then I tasted a little more in order to slightly push her limits just as I always had.  Finally, I found the strength to pull my practically starving mouth away from Sera’s delicious center, and then I slowly drug it up over the swell of her beautifully rounded ample ass.  I licked, kissed, and bit every inch of flesh that I could find as I finally made my way back up onto my feet, and then I carefully shedded my jeans and dress shirt, that I somehow still managed to actually have on.  Sera shook against the wall in front of me as she watched me finally return to my place behind her, and then she groaned desperately inside of her throat as I teasingly began to rub the head of my dick against her intensely swollen dripping wet clit.

          “Tell me how bad you want me.”  I whispered over Sera’s shoulder as I once again pushed her leg just slightly up the wall in front of us, and then carefully braced her extended leg with one of mine.  Sera released a heavy breath as she turned her head even closer toward me, and then she carefully licked her now cracking dry lips just before she once again spoke to me.

          “I want you more than anything that I have ever wanted in my entire life.”  She whispered intensely as she stared into my desire filled ocean colored eyes, and breathed heavily against my skin.  My chest began to ache as my emotions threatened to once again flood in, but I pushed back against them as roughly as I could possibly manage.

          “And, what do you want me to do to you right now?”  I asked as I kept my eyes tightly on Sera's, and then pressed my chest just slightly harder against the sharp edges of her petite shoulder blades.  Sera swallowed thickly inside of her throat as she continued to stare at me, and then she finally widened her sparkling emerald eyes.

          “I want you to fuck me until I can’t stand.  I want to ache from you beyond just tomorrow.”  She said hotly as she slid her hand slowly up the wall in front of her in what appeared to be preparation, and then released another shallow breath from deep inside of her.  My dick throbbed against Sera’s clit as I felt so many desires inside of me collide together all at once, and then as I watched Sera’s eyes eventually close once again, I finally pushed myself deep inside of her.

          “Tom, fuck.”  Sera yelped as my hips collided roughly with her ass, and my chest slammed violently against the back of her shoulders.

          “You are such a bad girl, Sera.  Most women would not dare to push me this far or tempt me in the way that you do.”  I said breathlessly as I pushed into her deeply once again, and then finally began rhythmically grinding my body tightly against hers in the way that I knew that she more than just slightly enjoyed.  Sera moaned as she bit down roughly on her bottom lip, and then she pushed her ass back hard against my hips, attempting to take me even deeper than she already had.

          “I’m not most women, Tom, and I would do anything to please you.  I’m _your_ bad girl.  Only yours.”  She answered seductively on a broken breath just before I slammed into her once again, causing her to scream out loudly, and then to press her cheek even harder against the cold wall in front of her.

          “Yes you are, aren’t you?  And, you always have been mine, haven’t you?  Ever since you met me, you have been mine.  You have barely even let anyone else look at you since you first laid your eyes on me.”  I boasted arrogantly as I felt all of my muscles beginning to tighten low within my stomach, and memories of the early stages of Sera and my romance beginning to once again fill the confines of my mind.  Sera moaned as she slid one of her hands just behind my lower back, and then she pulled me slightly tighter against her as her nails began to dig deeply into my flesh.

          “Always, Tom.  I’ve always been yours.  And, I’ll always _be_ yours.”  She continued as her face tensed slightly as I suddenly shifted my hips in a slightly different angle, and then ground my body even harder against hers.

          “Yes, you will be.  No man could ever satisfy you the way that I do.  No man could ever show you what I have.”  I continued now slightly masochistically as I drove even deeper inside of Sera, causing my dick to become slick with her delicious juices, and my bones to ache from my self-inflicted agitation.

          “You’re the only one.  You will always be the only one.”  Sera whimpered as she pushed harder back against me, and then finally dropped her head back to rest against the front of one of my broad shoulders.  I released a breath as I pulled Sera's body even tighter against mine, and then I wrapped one of my arms around the front of her beautifully curved waist.  I held her frame as close to my body as I could manage, and then I slowed in my movements slightly as I found the rhythm that I knew pleased her the most.

          “I need you to say it to me, Sera.”  I whispered in Sera's ear as I slid my free hand up the wall in front of me, and then carefully covered her slightly shaking hand that still rested there.  Sera released a breath as she turned her head slightly closer toward me, and then I felt her begin to shake as I kissed her shoulder softly with my now incredibly heated lips.  _I could feel this was where things were going to begin to go badly._

          “Tom…”  Sera moaned as I could tell that she was trying to reason with not only herself but also with me regarding what it was that I was asking, but as usual, I simply just would not listen.

          “Say it, Sera.  If you mean it, then I am telling you to say it.”  I ordered in an emotional tone as I pushed harder inside of Sera’s wet core, and in turn, caused her eyes to roll back slightly inside of her head from the intensity of the satisfying sensation.  There was a small silence just after my movement where the only sound that could be heard in the empty room surrounding us was the sound of both Sera and my erratic lust consumed breathing, but finally after a few tense moments, Sera found the strength to speak to me once again.

          “I love you, Tom.”  She whispered as her beautiful eyes slowly opened, and then quickly shifted back to carefully meet mine.  I swallowed as I felt all of my withheld emotions immediately begin to move through me, and then I pushed into Sera harder in an attempt to somehow once again drive them all out.

          “Again.”  I ordered in a voice that I did not recognize as I began moving against Sera so hard that even I knew that it was mostly likely a bad idea, but suddenly, I found myself strangely unable to cease in my rough actions.  Sera groaned as I felt her body tighten from my intense motions, and then I felt her brace herself helplessly against me as I continued to carelessly move.

          “I love you.”  She moaned as her head dropped forward causing her forehead to hit the cold wall in front of her roughly, and her nails to then begin to dig deeply into the tensed flesh of my hand.  I closed my eyes in complete reckless abandon as I road Sera’s body as hard and as fast as mine would so selfishly allow me, and then I reveled in the cries of sheer pleasure that escaped from her lips as I did it.

          “Tom, please don’t stop.  Fuck…me…”  Sera begged desperately as she gripped both my hand and my back frantically with her shaking fingertips, and at the same time took every single thrust that I gave to her as quickly and as roughly as she could receive it.

          “Fuck, I need you, Sera.  Jesus Christ, you are all that I need.”  I groaned as I continued helplessly battling with my emotions, but no matter how desperately my heart begged me to finally tell her, I still could not admit to Sera just how deeply it was that I loved her.  It would most likely surprise anyone that either knew me personally or that even had general knowledge of who I was that I could not express to the woman that I had been obsessively making love to for the past four months how it was that I felt about her, but when it came to Sera, I just could never seem to find the words.  It wasn’t that I didn’t feel them, and so I was afraid to lie.  It was actually that I felt them so strongly, and that the words themselves didn’t seem to carry the intense meaning that I truly wished for them to provide. _'I love  you_ ', just didn't seem to do my feelings justice when I imagined attempting to honestly explain them to Sera.   _No words did them justice, and none ever would._ _  
_

“More…don’t stop.  More…please…hurt me.”  Sera begged as her voice suddenly changed to a high pitched whimper that quickly pulled me out of my own mind, and instantly I felt her body become covered in a sheen of both hers and my sweat, that as always had been produced by the intensity of our desires. _I once again pushed back on my emotions that felt as if they were now relentlessly attacking me, and I instead desperately attempted to focus in on Sera's words._

          “You want more?  Oh darling, I can give you more.”  I panted as I took my hand away from Sera’s that had been pressed tightly against the cold wall, and then I quickly once again slid it back up into her now tangled mess of long dark hair.  I knotted my fingers tightly against her scalp just as I always had, and then I pulled back roughly against her, as I drove my dick into her even more deeply than I had been before.

          “Oh fuck, Tom.”  Sera screamed as I watched her nails dig painfully into the wall in front of her, and her free standing knee begin to hit the wall roughly as I more harshly and slightly viciously began to fuck her.  Watching Sera take everything that I gave to her, and so thoroughly seem to enjoy the intensity of my passion as I moved deeply inside of her suddenly became far too much for me to take, and quickly I once again felt myself beginning to lose control.  In a matter of minutes, I felt my release beginning to build so intensely inside of me that I suddenly found it hard to think, and therefore words began flowing from my mouth that I never realized that I secretly wanted to speak.

          “Tell me that there will never be anyone else, Sera.  Tell me now, and tell me loudly.”  I ordered as I moved faster in my movements with absolutely no regard for anyone other than my love sick self, and then bit down roughly on the back of my beauty’s soft delicate shoulder.  Sera moaned as she gasped loudly and then she practically growled against me just before she once again found her ability to coherently speak.

          “No one else, Tom.  No one.”  She declared on the end of a scream as I felt all of her muscles begin to tense around me, and then her core become so wet that my dick twitched from deep inside of her in intense pleasure that only she had ever been able to provide me.

          “Fuck, Sera.”  I groaned, and as soon as my words left my lips and my hips hit Sera’s one last time, I came hard inside of her just as she practically convulsed all around me nearly to the point of pain.  I breathed heavily as my orgasm seemed to linger as it intensely continued to move powerfully inside of me, but as soon as it was finally over, I was catapulted back to reality, where I so desperately did not want to be.

          The room around me was finally silent as I wrapped my body tightly around Sera’s, and then slowly pulled us back away from my cold empty flat wall.  I sank down to the floor in which I had previously been standing, and without saying a word, I pulled my beauty onto my naked lap.  Sera molded herself around my form just as she always had, and then she buried her face in the crook of my neck where she had always seemed to eventually begin to fall asleep.  My heart hammered inside of my chest as I stroked Sera’s long dark damp hair as I felt her breathing begin to slow and her pulse begin to even, and then I kissed the softness of her shoulder just as I felt her petite frame begin to once again slightly shake.  This very moment had been the entire reason that in the beginning, I had decided that the night before would be the last time that Sera and I were intimate with one another.  This very moment was the entire reason that I had so desperately attempted to stay strong. 

          “I have never and will never hate you, Tom.  I truly hope that you know that.”  Sera whispered softly against the wet flesh of my neck as she finally broke the silence of the room that surrounded us, and somehow forced emotions to break free from deep inside of both of us, that I desperately believed needed to be kept under lock and key.  I swallowed thickly as I continued running my hands carefully through Sera's hair, and then I exhaustedly released a breath against her sweet skin.

          “Sera, don’t, please.”  I whispered as I foolishly attempted to protect both myself and Sera from any further damage that either one of us could possibly do to the other, but we both knew that ship had long since sailed.  There was another long silence between us, and then finally Sera slowly lifted her head.  I lifted my gaze as I watched her carefully meet my tired eyes, and then I released another breath just as I felt one of her soft hands eventually begin to touch my still slightly tensed skin.

          “I do believe that London will miss you while you are away, Mr. Hiddleston.”  Sera said with a soft smile as she traced one of her fingers slowly down the sharp angle of the side of my cheekbone, and then lovingly caressed over the jagged edge of bone just at my jaw's base.  I swallowed thickly as I faked a smile finding it slightly humorous (and very endearing) to hear those words being spoken in Sera’s thick American accent, and then I finally nodded my head in what I guess could have been viewed as some sort of an agreement.

          “Well, I won’t be away forever.”  I said as I kept my eyes locked tightly in on Sera’s.  Sera nodded as she released a long and now exhausted gentle breath, and then she finally withdrew her slightly shaking fingers from the sides of my face.

          “Well, I won’t be here when you get back.”  She admitted softly as her body slowly began to shake in sadness against me once again.  I nodded slowly as I attempted to imagine coming back to London after my next project was finally finished, and not immediately seeing Sera’s beautiful face upon my return.   _I was already certain that London just wouldn’t feel the same without her...that I wouldn't feel the same without her._

          “I will miss you as if I have lost a part of myself, Sera.”  I admitted, speaking in the same way that most of those who assumed that they truly knew me would have expected me to speak to my lover, but how I rarely actually could bring myself to talk when in the presence of Sera.

          “I’ll miss you too, Tom.”  Sera replied as I saw tears beginning to once again rise in her beautiful eyes, and then eventually just brim on their edges as if silently threatening to drop at any given second depending on the intensity of my next provocation.  I nodded slowly as I carefully took in her very simple sounding heartfelt words just after she had spoken them, and then finally just before it reached ten o'clock, I reluctantly allowed them to truly sink in.  It was then that I realized that it was finally over between us.  It was then that I realized that our love affair was long past gone.   _  
_

The hours ticked by like seconds as Sera and I clung desperately to our last evening together in London, and as the time moved by us so painfully quickly, we barely even wasted our breath on words.  Instead of speaking, we lay wrapped up in each other's arms just silently watching the other one breathing, and also quietly obsessing over the past four months that to us would never be able to be returned.  Images of memories that I wished that I could permanently erase flooded through my mind as I stared silently into Sera's emerald colored eyes opened wide before me, and warning signs of where things would so quickly go wrong showed themselves in places that they used to so successfully hide.  My heart ached inside of my chest as I remembered the shy woman that I had met not so long before who I had recklessly allowed myself to love so quickly, and the sweet way that she had always stood up for me from the very beginning, even when no one else would.  I remembered the innocent way that she had looked at me the first time that she had met me suddenly realizing who I was, and I remembered the annoyed smile that she had given to me when I had made her laugh just simply because I could.  The people that we were four months before seemed so different than the people that it felt like we were now, and it was still so hard for me to pinpoint where exactly the change in us could actually visibly first be seen. To me, it had felt as if overnight something had shifted between us that had so quickly caused our imminent undoing, but honestly, I had no idea when exactly that life altering shift had actually taken place.  I simply remembered a time when everything had been sunshine and laughter, and then I also remembered a more recent time, when everything had so quickly became so incredibly quiet and dark.

 

          The human mind and the explanations behind some of our most unusual actions are not things that can commonly be understood in their entirety in the course of a lifetime, let alone in the span of just a few heartbroken hours.  So, by the time that it eventually neared ten forty-five that evening, I finally reluctantly resigned myself to the fact that I would most likely never understand what it was that had happened between me and Sera from my incredibly skewed point of view on the matter, and that I needed to finally begin to prepare myself for my flight that I was so quickly expected to be on.  However, it was in my last thought regarding my slightly dysfunctional relationship with my lovely Sera, that questions that I should have most likely asked much earlier in our affair, finally began entering my mind.  I wondered if even though I couldn't seem to explain why the things that had happened over the past four months between us had honestly happened, what if the person on the other side of our relationship actually could?  What if Sera had somehow seen all of this coming, and what if she had tried to give me some sort of sign that I had unintentionally missed?  Questions immediately began to zip through my mind at the speed of light as I suddenly stepped away from my own completely destroyed emotions, and suddenly began wondering what it was that Sera had been going through this entire time.  How had she felt when she had first met me, and what had she seen when she had initially looked into my eyes?  I wondered when it had been that Sera had first questioned if she did in fact actually love me, and when it was that she had first realized that we had lost any and all of our control?  What had it been like being with someone like me when you were someone like Sera?  What had it felt for her on all of those nights when we had so quickly gone too far, but then just as quickly somehow made it back together?  What had any of this felt like for Sera, any of it at all?

 

_**(This chapter was inspired in part by the song "Stray" by the Exies.)** _

         

         


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